I have learned that people who say they don’t like change, generally are people who do not have the courage to embrace it. At least that was the case for me. It all began in junior high school. I remember the activating event as if it were yesterday. I tried out for cheerleader in front of the entire student body and did not make it. Why that was such a pivotal event, I will never know but it truly changed me to the core. From that day forward, I struggled daily to regain the confidence that the humiliation from that experience stole from me. From junior high and then high school, I was constantly trying to find the "formula" to be popular, but never succeeded. To add insult to injury, midway through high school, I began to gain weight which was very foreign to me. I was always the girl who could eat whatever she wanted and not experience any weight gain as a result---the girl we love to hate. To combat my social anxiety and lack of confidence, I basically resorted to sticking to one close friend with whom I played high school basketball. I believe both she and the sport saved me from leading a path to self-destruction. It satisfied the craving to belong because belonging came naturally with simply making the team. I wasn't very good in the beginning, but I made the team. I even remember one of my junior high coaches saying something to the effect that it would be a miracle if I were to ever play college basketball! (I did, by the way!) BAM! Another slam to the self esteem at such a critical age. My dad was a fabulous coach and kept working with me until I finally became just good enough to be starting on my high school team. I can still remember him telling me in regards to basketball, "The only difference between you being good and great is your confidence and I can't give you that." How true that was about most things I did. That fear and insecurity continued to manifest itself into my adulthood particularly when my best friend from high school died in my apartment at the young age of 26. The day her dad drove her little red car away felt like my heart was being ripped out. My resolve then was found in reconnecting with God because I wanted to be sure that I joined her someday in Heaven. Even so, I felt very alone and the fear of connecting socially continued to grow. She was my social “in” who lit up a room when she walked in, and I no longer had that. It was time to figure this life out on my own. Years later, I met my husband who, by example, encouraged me to join a gym and begin to workout. I was hoping by losing a little weight, I would begin to feel relevant again being that it was something I could control. No matter how hard I worked out or "dieted", those last few pounds would just not come off and STAY off. In March of 2014, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's, an autoimmune thyroid disease—likely the reason I was struggling with my fluctuating weight. As a result, I had to change all that I knew about eating including removing gluten from my diet. I began to research what I could eat to empower my body to function optimally. That is when I found Shakeology! That became my new breakfast (gluten free) and along with it less sugar cravings and more energy (energy does not come easily when having a thyroid disease). Next, I signed up to be a coach, mostly because I wanted the added discount on my monthly shipment of Shakeology as well as on their other products. I chose not to share with others for TWO years because I was still believing my negative internal voice telling me that nobody would care about what I was learning in regards to health and fitness. That all recently changed when people started asking about the results I was getting by using Beachbody products! It was then that I realized I had been given the divine purpose (with the obligation) to help others with the knowledge I had acquired in my journey to better health! Now I have begun to embrace Beachbody as a business. I am planning to retire in 3 years from education and my investments that I planned for retirement keep plummeting with each statement. I needed to do something different to support my dream. To say that I no longer struggle with self-confidence to some degree would not be accurate, however, I am no longer allowing it to define who I am. Instead of striving for popularity and acceptance, I want to be a person who motivates and encourages others to overcome the fear and apathy it takes to reach potentials they never dreamed possible. I have found purpose and the courage to step out of my comfort zone to dream big! Blogging about my journey is just one way I am publicly declaring my new found freedom from my negative inner voice. Sharing my story creates the accountability I need to continue on this mission to crawl out of my shell. If you have dreams that you are ready to actively pursue, fears to overcome, a fitness level you would like to achieve or even if you just like to connect with others, I would consider it the ultimate compliment to be chosen to help you make the changes that help you to define your greater purpose. All you have to do is ask. In the meantime, I will be sharing some bits of my daily journey in regards to fitness and health. I hope you will come along for the ride.
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